Sunday, November 29, 2009

Top 10 Reasons My Blog Cannot Be Popular




10) I am not vain, I simply cannot take 16 pictures of how I do boring stuffs and post it up. For example: HELLO GUYS! TODAY I DRANK MINERAL WATER FROM GIANT!




GIANT MINERAL WATER!




First you open the cap!




And then you swallow it like a blowjob! DELICIOUS!



Oh Trust me gentlemen, I feel like my IQ point had just dropped by two even to demonstrate that out.


9) I am not geeky or tech-savvy, the only high tech thing I've got is a laser mouse. So there is no way I can impart any knowledge to my readers regarding the lastest trend. By the way if you're still using optical. You are out-dated.


8) I don't have boobs and is very reluctant to show my boner. Because for people who has an average life like me, you have to either be gay or write, show something sexually explicit for people to even care.


7) I'd love to travel, but a student like me can't even make it to Timbaktuh with my allowance. Damn whoever that didn't make me the son of Lee Kah Sing. I qualify from looks to character to be a rich man's son that never have to work for money, eat, sleep, spend money, eat, sleep, spend money and die stupid. So no chance for a travel blog.


6) It's not very entertaining for everyone when I ask people to be thankful for their lives and how they should live it. It's only entertaining for me. So no good entertainment blog.


5) Anwar haven topple the government. No good and bloody politics recently to even talk about. MCA is a piece of cibai now. Even I hope they will solve their problems fast because they are confusing the public with their idiocracy.


4) There is nothing GLAMOROUS of what I am doing


3) A majority of the population still doesn't care about blogs. It's not me, it's the enviroment. Pick your side.


2) I have a life.


1) Because of more interesting websites like wide6.com (yes, it is what you think it is, so don't try)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Bonus Post


Do you feel that sometimes Christianity to you is just a loose set of moral codes? Designed to keep you in line, and while you obeyed them casually you didn't pay much attention to it: You just did enough to make you feel good about yourself.


Do you wake up in the morning and pray routinely because it is what the church told you to do since young, but you never really mean it in the heart? Do you at times go to church camps or church events, where the music is so good, the worship is so great it “touched” your heart, and for a moment you are excited about God and Jesus but that feeling only last for a week, and then, you forget, and then you slowly and completely leave it behind.


If you have these experiences, you need to pick up the phone and call me. Because many churches ain’t telling you the real deal about Christianity, because many churches are keeping the truth and Jesus behind the curtain. They are not teaching you right. Church is not a law school where you go and learn what is right or wrong. Church is a place you meet Christ, and through His empowerment, love and grace, you change. This is a message from Andrew Ho, the last few people in this nation, that can really preach the hell out of you.



Super Christian Talk: If you are a preacher, you read this out loud to your congreation this Sunday and then you preach Jesus to them. If you can't show them the truth, pick up the phone and call me. I charge by hour.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Random Talks

I have been writing on this blog for the past 11 months now. It has been over 100 posts consistently generated by my less than interesting life. Sometimes I wish I can write blog in seasons. You know, you get 1 season done. Then you get a long break, and then you come back to make season 2 again. Which is not a very bad idea. Because life is about seasons. It's about stages. If you wonder what does generation gap means, it simply means 2 people who are at different stages of life being unable to communicate effectively.



J.Co Yogurt is a great idea except it being Rm9.10



But again, if you think this is just another blog post that I'm gonna preach about life, you are wrong. I can't possibly do it all the time. Women, come once a month. I cannot come 6 times a month and still be normal. By the way, I am not implying that I am. And I feel that it is time for me to move on to the next stage of life. I know it is a little too early to make new year resolutions, but who are we kidding, most new year resolutions go down the drain. If you want something to be different, you make a move today.


I don't know, maybe I should take life more seriously. Maybe I should fall in love. Maybe I should change my attitude towards life and people (unlikely so, why lower my statures to be one of those lowly beings). Maybe I should rock the world of everyone I know and show them I am alive and kicking. There are a lot of maybes, most of them crap. But between dreams and reality, most people want to be a better person than what he really is when it comes to Christmas and New Year. It's more likely a futile attempt as they will repeat their same behaviour the following year. But there will be a few of us that can really do it.



It is believed that abalone resembles a certain body part



Which reminds me what Einstein said, insanity is to repeat the same action hoping for a different result.This is good isn't it, just me sitting here chit chatting with you randomly. Actually I am just talking to myself here. I don't even know who reads my blog and who doesn't now. This is a one way communication. With the help of facebook, blogs are really dying. It's actually more enjoying to play facebook than this. I mean, we can do most of the things on facebook more effectively than blogging. It's like a blogging tool made for lazy people.


Instead of typing long sentences to say something, you just have to update your facebook status that goes like "I AM SHAVING MY BALLS NOW". And the whole world gets it. You want to show where you've been today, just upload some photos and tag everyone. Events, great tool I used it to organise gatherings this coming Christmas. Just invite your friends on facebook and see if they are coming. And the comments, wonderful, you like something, just click "like". Way more encouraging than someone cursing you on your blog anonymously.





It's the young people thing today. Unrelatedly, I'm having this cough for a week now. It's 2 a.m. as I'm writing, so let's just consider this our pillow talk and say our goodnights.


P/S: The Christmas Carol is actually a good and meaningful show to watch. For those people who are more inclined towards English education, if you want to reminiscence your childhood Charles Dickens story, watch it. It makes Christmas better than 2012.

Friday, November 20, 2009

To Arthur!

I don't drink a lot. I don't drink at all. Not even socially. I only drink when I am sad. It's a trick that I've recently learnt that drinking a little beer helps me relax. You don't get drunk, no, I don't get drunk with a can of beer. I never got drunk and I don't think I will. My point is, it's actually easier to sleep with a little alchohol when your heart is a little troubled. It makes your mind think slower and your heart numb. That's why I guess my dad drink a can (and a can of beer only) before he sleeps. You see, when you're married with the same women for the past 25 years....... ahhh , nevermind that.


It is true that drinking is not a solution to any problem. If it is, then psychologist and counsellor will be very sad because they will be out of job. But not every problem is solvable and technical. Not everything is a business decision. Some of the problems is just stupid. For example, you fall in love with a girl that doesn't like you and like someone else instead. Or you're gay and you fall in love with a guy that is straight and you're thinking what the hell is wrong with you. In short, emotional problems are more complicated and there usually is no solution to it, except for you wait for time to heal itself or........ TO ARTHUR!





Beer is like panadol, you don't use it to treat your problems. You just suppress it until it gets better. And believe it or not, this suppressing thing, it works for boys. Girls would love to crawl and hug each other in bed, talking and crying their hearts out while trying to come up with encouragements and solutions to their problems. Boys on the other hand drink and talk in analogies.


For example, a girl would say: I really love this boy, but he rejected me because I am 1 year olderrrrrrrrrr (insert high pitched voice and tears), now I just feel so stupid, why, why, whyyyyyyyyyyy did I fall for this kinda boy. Although he is really cuteeeeeeeee, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh (insert higher pitched voice and more tears)


Boys or in particularly me in similar situation would go: I did something stupid.......really really stupid. To Arthur! And all we need is a few friends that didn't care to be around, just so we can show how damn sad we are.


So which way is better? Of course the girl way is better, that's why they live longer. But will we change? Of course not, if everyone in the world would stop drinking, we will have enough rice to feed all the starving children in Africa. It's a big industry. We can't let it fall. But am I advocate drinking. No, I'm just lining up a social phenomena that neither of us can change. It's an observation base on facts that do no justice to anybody.





Welcome to the cruel cruel world

Monday, November 16, 2009

Crab

Don't kill small crabs


Tmnet is a headache. And we all know that. To make a long story short,


I want to apply streamyx, apartment no phoneline,I applied phoneline,after got phoneline,they tell me no port,I wait for the port to be fixed,after port fixed,they tell me no modem,so I waited for the modem and then I found out that the modem got only one lan port which is not enough for my 4 people apartment........now I have to ask someone who can help me set up my D-link Modem.. Total waiting time, 2 WEEKS!





They say if you want many people to read your blog, all you have to do is to swear a lot. Like how Namewee diao TNB.


So streamyx cibai. But I have no choice but to subscribe to them because she is the monopoly. Other broadbands are still crap. They are either coverage not enough, got thereshold limit, slower or simply more expensive.


Talking about crap did you read the news of the "missing girl" who went to genting with her 15 year old boyfriend? Don't undermine this kind of news because these are the news that made it to "the star" most viewed. People like sensational news. In other words, I'd but Rm50 that they had sex in genting. Because we all like having sex in genting and 15 year old boys can dry hump a bolster for 30 minutes, what more the real thing. Hah, one of the regrets of my life is to never make headlines for this kinda thing.


I mean, who would report a news which says "Andrew, one of the boys that lived his life ordinarily and properly, watching occasional porn with minimal exposure, reject special service when go to massage but masturbate himself in private, never thought of paying for sex, retain dignity by retaining virginity until he finally lose it voluntarily and legally with someone hopefully is not a whore". This is the kind of news where the title would be "Top 10 losers of the year".


But really? Has our world demoralized itself to an extend whereby doing something right equals God damn you are a freaking loser? The truth is it has. But boy, if you've reach a certain stature called "The Andrew Ho standard of I don't care what the fuck you do as long as I don't fuck up my life like you do", you'll be glad you belong to the minority group of so called losers.





Don't regard me as a self-righteouss person who always repeat the same thing. Regard the enviroment and peer preasure a little bit too much to bear. In other words, imagine your 16 year old girl which is in love with me going to Genting for a week long holiday. I swear in the name of TMNet, 7 condoms will not be enough. And you would wish this society is a better place. You would wish the clubs doesn't sell pills, you would wish there aren't so many chinese prostitutes in Bukit Bintang.


By they why did I choose 16? That is the minimum age I will not be charge with statutory rape. That's the difference between men like us and the boys at large, we use our freaking brain even when we're horny. Education not wasted.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Do You Want To Titanic Me?

Men want women to be fresh all the time. As long as he still thinks the woman is fresh, he will treat her like she is the only thing that matters on earth. But why is it that so often we hear girls say to their boyfriends "you have changed, you are no longer the guy that I first fall in love with". That's because somehow the boy thinks her girlfriend is not fresh anymore.



So the question is, how long does this "fresh" feeling last? Scientifically speaking, it is the first 3 days he know her.



That's why you will see men who keep finding new girlfriends, fresh girlfriends. Because lust is an unstoppable force. Women on the other hand is a little different. Instead of finding new fresh boys all the time, they want their boyfriend to remain fresh forever. It's a little bit like trying to make pickled cucumbers.



Do you know why titanic is the best love story of all time? Because Titanic is a place where you don't have to work but you get to eat. So in the morning you get up, you don't have to work and you get to eat, in the afternoon you don't have to work, you get to eat, and in the night, you don't have to work again and you get to be romantic. It does not absolutely resembles real life at all. And the most crucial part? It never lasted more than 3 days.



Please understand that the 3 days is very important, this 3 days is when the romantic turbo of a guy is turned on. He will be able to perform task and behavior that he will never able be able to repeat again for the rest of his life, to you. Drown in an icy cold ocean, towards a women you've barely known, what are the chances you will give her your only pelampung? The romantic turbo is still turned on.....




*Ideas for this post is not original, I plagiarise it from a funny show. And you should be aware that I write these things for fun only.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Cute In Many Degrees


Morning Gentlemen,


I've just realized if you have recently fall out of love, winter sonata is one of the songs that can most probably inspire a suicide. So don't listen to it. I've been going through some rough patches lately, I became a little emotional as it is reflected in my writing. But I guess this will be the last mushy post in a while. Because life move on and people have to follow it.


You might be wondering what happened, but if you know me you'll know that I do not discuss about my personal feelings and stories very much. Never. Certain things are better kept in the heart, it is no big deal, it's just me being more of a man. A little bit too much sometimes.


The holidays are coming, I'll be back in Kuching for a brief 2 weeks towards the end of December. As I am writing to you I am also listening to a piano piece that sounds almost like a sad Christmas song. And all I can think of in my mind is that this Christmas, it will be wonderful if I could just get the chance to meet up all my friends. Those that I have not seen for a long time, a damn long time indeed and I want to tell them that I still remember them, and I still care. Just as I always will.


I want to do those good things before I get a little older. Wouldn't want to wait until my mid-life crisis come to finally realize what I've missed ^^


There are times indeed when we feel a little sentimental, but God I hope those times wouldn't be too long. As a boring writer that generates all his boring ideas from his empty mind, I can tell you, it doesn't feel so good. For every sentence you write that touches the heart of others, it must first touch yours.


To lighten up this post, I wanna visit the new gym in Kuching when I'm back though, I wonder if they would let non-members in at all. I guess they would at least let me in until the receptionist counter, it's worth a shot because when I look at the pictures from Kennysia's website, the receptionist looks kinda pretty. Just wanna make sure it isn't photoshoped. Hahahaha.....


I'm cute in many degrees. And I deserve a great life. That's what God told me and that's what I believe. So it does to you my dearly beloved friend, whoever you are. Here's a little flying kiss for you from the bottom of my heart.





He goes to gym, he thinks egg white is protein, he needs protein, so he ate all the white and left this aside

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

爱到太践还是算了吧

人与人之间相处是一门艺术,它是一种感觉,也是一种感情。困难在那里呢?它就在当你看着心爱的人与别人做爱时,那个感受你如何承担?所以我们今天的主题是,当她与别人做爱时,我如何再跟她相处。 我再次强调,相处是一门艺术,这是个很烂的开头。 哈哈哈。。。

心痛是痛得很痛。算了也算不了多少。想忘在一时之间是不可能的。这种感觉你叫我如何处理? 他们说这种小爱小恨,迟早会过去,但迟早不是今天。迟早不是明晚,当迟早还没到来时,你叫我怎么死?

这世界是不负责任的,它是不公平,它是残忍的。不是有些人不求上进,是事实太多时候太难了。更何况犯践的你我本来就是喜欢自讨苦吃,怨不得别人。

结论呢?就是大家一起吃大便吧。




English Translation via Google Translate:


Among people is an art, it is a feeling, but also kind of feeling. The difficulty there? It's in when you watch a loved one when having sex with others, how do you feel that commitment? Therefore, today's theme is that when she was having sex with someone else, when, how do I get along with her. I stress once again that coexistence is an art, this is the beginning of Henlan. Ha ha ha. . .


Heartburn is the pain painful. Forget also the number of Suan Bule. Would like to forget in a while is impossible. This feeling you call me how to deal with? They say that this little love little hate, sooner or later will pass, but sooner or later, not today. Sooner or later, not tomorrow, when not coming sooner or later, you told me how to die?


This world is irresponsible, it is not fair, it is cruel. Not some people do not make progress, is a fact too often too difficult. What's more guilty of Jian's always been like you and I ask for it, nobody is to blame.


Conclusion? Is the bar stool to eat with everyone.