1Malaysia Your Head

Updates Upon Updates:

Today Zambry wrote in his blog that his battle in Perak is liken to Nelson Mendela and Ghandi. You see this is the problem with amateur blogger. They don't know how to blog responsibly. How can you call yourself liken to 2 Nobel Peace Prize winner when all the physical sufferings you ever endured was getting circumsized. That's like me calling myself the King of the world. And you all lowly humans, will suck on my dick until the end of ages, man and woman alike.


Those idiots in Perak, they are changing MB every other day, pushing in and out, in and out I just feel like asking, when are you going to cum!? You should model us in Sarawak. Just give all the chairs to BN and kill democracy. We are freaking awesome!

Super Short Talk: One of my ex-schoolmate, a junior just got married recently. Isn't my high school cool? Don't bother asking why get married, just know that my practice of carrying a condom everywhere I go is worth modeling. According to Sun Tzu Art of War....... okay fine, I will shut up.



Super Update: The High court has ruled that Nizar from PKR is the rightful MB of Perak, but don't worry, we from Barisan will appeal to the Court of Appeal, and when that fails, we will further appeal to the Federal court. This is just a smoke screen to let the public think there is hope for them. You wait lah, wait till federal court, I will ask Lingam to help me telephone. Sure win one.

When Najib decided to name his blog 1Malaysia.com, I thought it was quite nice because few people name website starting with a number. But when he decided to present his URL as a concept to all Malaysian. I can't help but to think that it is a blatantly stupid idea, a stupid message and hardly a good propaganda. It irked me even more when I read people quoting the "1Malaysia theme" on the papers, as if it is the new cool thing.

1Malaysia is not new. Because our country has been fostering "unity in diversity" for the last 5 decades unsuccessfully, there is no need for such repetition.


1Malaysia does not present itself accurately. Because we believe in "unity in diversity". Different people of different colour living together under the same roof. The name of 1Malaysia itself gives people and idea that we all have to conform or probably convert ourselves into a new species, whereby we share the same traits and is one.


1Malaysia is vague. "People First Performance Now", "Promoting Togetherness" were all the explanation of the concept we got from Najib. It makes people like me finding it hard to explain to others what really is all this 1Malaysia thing.

To make things simple, I'd just tell them it's a communism thing.


There come a point we should ask ourselves how successful are we in championing unity?





What is it that hinders us from achieving a more rounded unity?




And what can we do to improve?

Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your government can do for you!

Bonus:

Nizar the legitimate MB of Perak ruled by the High Court KL Today.

Zombie the Barisan MB and puppet who by the ruling of Court is not the legitimate Perak MB.


11.40 p.m. on MSN

Nizar: Hahahahahahah, I win liao.

Zombie: ........

Nizar: Why don't want talk.

Zombie: No mood.

Nizar: Don't like that lah, next time let you win back.

Zombie: I wont win, the people hate me.

Nizar: Don't say like that.

Zombie: I pull the Speaker out from the hall. Everybody hates me.

Nizar: Haiya, I want to call a fresh election by the way.

Zombie: Good luck oh, I think maybe you can't.

Nizar: How you know?

Zombie: Have to see sultan leh, maybe he wont let you do that.

Nizar: Sien oh, he always help you only.

Zombie: Hia hia hia, maybe he will call for a sitting for a vote of no confidence on you.

Nizar: Cb, why cannot election again?

Zombie: Cause we sure lose one.

Nizar: Haven fight how know.

Zombie: I pull the speaker out from Dewan like a dog, I wont even vote for myself.

Nizar: I vote for you loh.

Zombie: You vote for me also lose.

Nizar: I really hope can win back Perak.

Zombie: Yalah, yalah, tomorrow I am filing an appeal. Cb you.

Nizar: Go ahead lah, not scared you.

Zombie: I sold off your official car this morning before court rule, on purpose.

Nizar: Cb you.

Zombie: Hahahahaa, don't want to talk liao, gtg, sleep.

Nizar: Zzzzzz Nite

Zombie: Nite, sweet dreams.

Nizar: Fck.

Why can't the world be a little more like this?

Me Try Speak Cantonese

Super Short Talk: Check out my twitter updates at my sidebar.


I have never spoken Cantonese. This is my first try. It will not happen again.

Super Update:

The Perak Showdown

So after BN has "taken over" Perak by asking 3 ADUN (elected representatives of the State Parliament) members of the opposition party in Perak to jump ship, here is what followed. The opposition party (PKR) wanted to postpone the parliament sitting as long as possible. Because if the parliament do not meet for 6 months straight, they cannot function anymore and have to close shop. After closing shop they have to start a general election in that area (in this case Perak) all over again. The BN however wants the meeting to start as soon as possible, because they know if the parliament close shop and an election is to be held again, they 100% lose one.


The Boss of the Perak parliament, also known as the Speaker, he is very hiao, he don't want to help the BN one, because he himself also DAP member. So he fired 6 ADUN (member of state parliament), including Zombie, the New Menteri Besar of Perak from BN, I think his name is like that lah.


The deadline for the 6 month period is this May 13. But the hiao Speaker really postpone until cannot postpone already, so today they have to meeting. Here is what happened in the meeting.

First of all, the Perak State Parliament building is sealed with a 500 metre radius. Whoever comes close to it, the police will fucking cut you. Of course, some Malaysian activist wont care about that, so they also walk close close, many of them has been arrested so today they will all sleep in jail for a while. They also block all the entrance and road to the building. Nobody can go in unless you are the Speaker and the ADUN member. And in the building, the showdown begins.


BN: Cibai! Fuck you Speaker! We want to vote you out! We don't want you be the boss!

Speaker: Fuck me? Fuck yourself ah! Security! Throw these 6 people I fired out!

Security: ......... (look to the left ask his friend "how?", they look back "wah beh chai oh, just pretend don't know lah)

BN: Hahahaha, you think you very lihai? I am BN, you challenge me is no use one! You come down from your throne! I now want everybody to vote you out! You accept or not!?

Speaker: Lan Jiao, don't want accept!

BN: I ask you again, I want to vote you out now, my supporter all in this room is majority, we all want you out! You want or not!?

Speaker: Lan jiao, don't want!

PKR member: (Knock on the table, knock on the chair, take down their pants and started shouting) Keluar! Keluar! Zombie you keluar!

Zombie: SHADDAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole room turned quiet.

Zombie: Ladies and gentlemen, I present you, the new boss!

Yo Yo Yo Yo, (the normal narration now turn into a hip hop sensation singing...) The new boss is in the house yo, the new boss is the house yo. So who cares the motherfucker if you like it or not, the new boss is in the house yo! The disco ball started rolling and the lights turned dim, a spot light beamed across the room to an opening door, and here comes the new boss------- Parmesan!

Zombie: Parmesan is the new boss now, he is the new speaker!

Original Speaker: WHAT! LIKE THAT ALSO CAN!

Parmessan walk across the room, and go stand in front............ he took up a microphone.

Parmesan: Cheese everybody, you can stop shouting now because all your microphone has been TURNED off, now only my microphone got sound. I am the new boss and we continue meeting.


The Whole Room: LIKE THIS ALSO CAN????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And The Crap Goes On

Adapted from a true story that just happened today

Comments: You make us a joke dude. You make us a joke. And someday you should better pay up this joke. And pay it big.


Amusement Arcade:

Reading from Malaysiakini, the fun thing that happened

12.45pm: The situation turns ugly in the House. Pakatan rep Thomas Su (Pasir Pinji) ridicules Hee by offering her RM50 and shouting 'Go and die' in Cantonese.

Following this, another Pakatan rep Yew Tian Hoe (Aulong) throws two RM1 notes at the deputy speaker, prompting a vexed Hee to pick up the notes and tear them to pieces.

Note: Hee Yit Fong is an ugly and short woman who jumped ship from DAP to BN. One of the causes for the chaos, it is rumoured that she is bribed in millions.


HOI SEI LAH LEI! (THROW RM2 AT YOU!)

At the end of today, the BN wins, they finally asked police to come in and forcibly remove the hiao Speaker. Because of what happened today, BN will lose the next GE in Perak, they will lose for many years to come. They shouldn't do that. A win by force is not a win. It is a rape. You are not winning a girl, you're raping a girl, go brag about it, you shouldn't be proud.

Bonus Post

This is a very juicy post. It is so juicy it became a bonus post. Here is the big name Malaysis Today dot net, Raja Petra accuse Najib's wife of being present at the crime scene when Altantuya was bombed. And that Najib offered him Rm30,000 a month to buy his silence. Of course, if you ask me to comment on it, I will say it is rubbish. As I believe, whatever people say that is against the government are all rubbish. And that no one should say anything bad about the Prime Minister and Barisan Nasional. Because they are freaking awesome!

F@#K Mee

Super update: 4th of May is the first day KLCI index rose to above 1000 point since the economic crisis started.

While flipping the travel magazine on board Air Asia, I saw this exact advertisement, Canton-i Wanton Mee. I was instantly attracted by the picture and decided that I must either eat it or die trying. So I paid a visit to Canton-i in The Gardens. Oh hail the power of advertising.

My dim sum came briefly after the order, and it didn't disappoint much.

Egg Yolk Layer Cake Rm6

Still I was expecting the Wanton Mee more, because the advertisement was just too pretty. And then the magic happened as my Rm12 wanton noodle finally arrived.

Deng Deng Deng Deng~~~!

This is the separation between dreams and reality. And the reason why people hate Chinese.

On another hand, I paid a visit to Mr Ho's fine food recently. I heard the food there are nice and expensive.

Rm30 mix grill

Having eaten them, I think they are just expensive. I still like Taiwan Sausages more than Western Sausages. Or maybe it's just me being racist. But I think everyone should have the right to be picky on the sausages they put in their mouth.

Starbucks Kopi decided to open itself 4 minutes drive away from my house. Although this kind of shop does not go very well with my motto "live free or cheap", I just had to pay it a visit. Kuching people has this serious fetish towards newly open shop. Nomatter what it is, tell us it's new in town and WE WILL BE THERE.

The Rm15 curse

The Rm7 curse

My brother related with me once how his lecturer asked the class "what does Starbucks sell?" A student said "Kopi", the other said "very expensive Kopi". And the lecturer said all of them were incorrect. Because the only thing that Starbucks sell .................. is lifestyle.

Bonus Post

Super Short Talk: This is a Bonus Post. It is neither scheduled, inspired, expected, planned nor important.


Recently 2 of my used to be skinny friends had decided to put on some muscular weight and they both succeeded in it. Their action had collapsed my world because I had always thought all this weight gaining or losing thing is just fiction.


2 days ago, when meeting another friend who was supposed to be at my weight, 82 KG, had slimmed down to 67KG. Losing 15 KG over a period of time. His action has once again collapsed my world.


Thus in the month of May, I have decided to join in the new cool, engaging the superficial side of me and lose a target of 5 KG. I plan to achieve that by burning all my pocket money and ask my mum not to cook anymore.


As of the 1st of May, I consumed a packet of Rm5 Economy Fast Food bought from Zhang Dong Liang's mother (Eh you Kuching people know his mother sell fast food in Tabuan right?) KFC Dinner Plate, Kueh Chap for supper, slept for 10 hours and watched desperate housewives. So my 1st day basically FAILED.