Thursday, May 7, 2009

Me Try Speak Cantonese

Super Short Talk: Check out my twitter updates at my sidebar.


I have never spoken Cantonese. This is my first try. It will not happen again.






Super Update:

The Perak Showdown


So after BN has "taken over" Perak by asking 3 ADUN (elected representatives of the State Parliament) members of the opposition party in Perak to jump ship, here is what followed. The opposition party (PKR) wanted to postpone the parliament sitting as long as possible. Because if the parliament do not meet for 6 months straight, they cannot function anymore and have to close shop. After closing shop they have to start a general election in that area (in this case Perak) all over again. The BN however wants the meeting to start as soon as possible, because they know if the parliament close shop and an election is to be held again, they 100% lose one.


The Boss of the Perak parliament, also known as the Speaker, he is very hiao, he don't want to help the BN one, because he himself also DAP member. So he fired 6 ADUN (member of state parliament), including Zombie, the New Menteri Besar of Perak from BN, I think his name is like that lah.


The deadline for the 6 month period is this May 13. But the hiao Speaker really postpone until cannot postpone already, so today they have to meeting. Here is what happened in the meeting.





First of all, the Perak State Parliament building is sealed with a 500 metre radius. Whoever comes close to it, the police will fucking cut you. Of course, some Malaysian activist wont care about that, so they also walk close close, many of them has been arrested so today they will all sleep in jail for a while. They also block all the entrance and road to the building. Nobody can go in unless you are the Speaker and the ADUN member. And in the building, the showdown begins.


BN: Cibai! Fuck you Speaker! We want to vote you out! We don't want you be the boss!

Speaker: Fuck me? Fuck yourself ah! Security! Throw these 6 people I fired out!

Security: ......... (look to the left ask his friend "how?", they look back "wah beh chai oh, just pretend don't know lah)

BN: Hahahaha, you think you very lihai? I am BN, you challenge me is no use one! You come down from your throne! I now want everybody to vote you out! You accept or not!?

Speaker: Lan Jiao, don't want accept!

BN: I ask you again, I want to vote you out now, my supporter all in this room is majority, we all want you out! You want or not!?

Speaker: Lan jiao, don't want!

PKR member: (Knock on the table, knock on the chair, take down their pants and started shouting) Keluar! Keluar! Zombie you keluar!

Zombie: SHADDAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole room turned quiet.

Zombie: Ladies and gentlemen, I present you, the new boss!

Yo Yo Yo Yo, (the normal narration now turn into a hip hop sensation singing...) The new boss is in the house yo, the new boss is the house yo. So who cares the motherfucker if you like it or not, the new boss is in the house yo! The disco ball started rolling and the lights turned dim, a spot light beamed across the room to an opening door, and here comes the new boss------- Parmesan!

Zombie: Parmesan is the new boss now, he is the new speaker!

Original Speaker: WHAT! LIKE THAT ALSO CAN!

Parmessan walk across the room, and go stand in front............ he took up a microphone.

Parmesan: Cheese everybody, you can stop shouting now because all your microphone has been TURNED off, now only my microphone got sound. I am the new boss and we continue meeting.


The Whole Room: LIKE THIS ALSO CAN????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





And The Crap Goes On

Adapted from a true story that just happened today



Comments: You make us a joke dude. You make us a joke. And someday you should better pay up this joke. And pay it big.


Amusement Arcade:

Reading from Malaysiakini, the fun thing that happened

12.45pm: The situation turns ugly in the House. Pakatan rep Thomas Su (Pasir Pinji) ridicules Hee by offering her RM50 and shouting 'Go and die' in Cantonese.

Following this, another Pakatan rep Yew Tian Hoe (Aulong) throws two RM1 notes at the deputy speaker, prompting a vexed Hee to pick up the notes and tear them to pieces.

Note: Hee Yit Fong is an ugly and short woman who jumped ship from DAP to BN. One of the causes for the chaos, it is rumoured that she is bribed in millions.


HOI SEI LAH LEI! (THROW RM2 AT YOU!)


At the end of today, the BN wins, they finally asked police to come in and forcibly remove the hiao Speaker. Because of what happened today, BN will lose the next GE in Perak, they will lose for many years to come. They shouldn't do that. A win by force is not a win. It is a rape. You are not winning a girl, you're raping a girl, go brag about it, you shouldn't be proud.

5 comments:

Robb said...

wrong pronunciation for diao. It's Tiu!

great illustration of perak assembly

Andrew Ho said...

You mean wrong spelling, pronunciation is what we speak,spelling is what we write. Used 'diao' becuz it's more widely known (mandarin, hokkien) when writing in the subs =)

didi said...

Your cantonese is good, way better than what I can even say.

Lizard said...

Omg~ U recorded ur voice...

Jerry Gene said...

Excellent post and wonderful blog, I really like this type of interesting articles keep it u.

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