Thursday, March 5, 2009

Don't Make Me Wait

Welcome To The Republic Of Malaysia

We can now stop state assemblymen from walking into the state assembly with the police force. Next we are going to embrace Communism and believe in no gods other than ourselves. It goes to show that I am right (as usual) when I say "Democracy does not works with animals". To all the MP's who are super fanatic fans of my blog, you are free to quote from me when the next session of your ridiculous meeting continues under a tree or a car park . For those who don't understand what am I talking about, I am not responsible for your lack of knowledge, go upgrade your brain.

On a totally unrelated matter, and in a very irrelevant way to continue from my first paragraph, I am going to talk to you about soya bean and drinks.

Soya Bean Milk which are made with small sugar. Not lesser sugar, but small sugar. You know what's the difference? I don't know man, I only know that the manufactured date is 21 of Feb and the expiry date is 2 days later at 23 Feb. And it also costs Rm3.65 for this small bottle of soya bean. If you think that's overprice and a little shortlived. Let me introduce you something cheaper.

Bird Nest flavoured drink priced at Rm1.40. Mind your language gentlemen. It is not bird nest drink which will usually cost you Rm35, it is instead bird nest 'flavoured' drink. It is suppose to look like bird nest, taste like bird nest but it is not bird nest. It's like flavoured condom, it is suppose to smell like strawberry, taste like strawberry, but it is not a strawberry you are eating. As a matter of fact, you don't even eat it. I'm not a lawyer, but if you insist on eating it when it is wore to what it is made and intended for, I can charge you un­­der Section 377A of the Penal Code for carnal intercourse against the order of nature and also intentional homicide which carries life imprisonment. Put that aside....

The recommended dosage of Vitamin C daily is 90 mg. C1000 contains 1000 mg of vitamin C in a 250ml can. I wonder why it is not so popular in Malaysia. The next time you want to stage a fake suicide, don't take vitamin C pills, just drink a gallon of this. It works as good.

Before I forget, remember Elizabeth Wong?

The people in his constituents supported her fully ....

And also planed to collect Rm10,000 signatures for her last week. My conclusion today gentlemen, is welcome to Malaysia. We use big and small to determine the amount of sugar we put into your drinks and we use Ringgit to count the number of signatures we wish to collect. The next thing I wish you to count is how long a time is there left before our next Prime Minister Anwar Najib takes office. And the unit we are using this time is 'light years'.

This is the first English pop song I have ever listened to and it happened many years ago. I have to say that it has inspired me very much to kick off my imaginary musical career, which is very successful in my imagination. I'm like the biggest star inside my head and nobody in real life. Have a good day.


Miss Taeyong said...

hahaha.. i used to love 911 too. good luck in your (imaginary) career.

pilocarpine said...

does this means RM10,000 are being paid for the signatures?

Gary said...

It's just a typing error

bitty said...

well, we malaysian do have the best way of counting things. hey cuz!!!

Andrew Ho said...

hello cuzzy, u know bitty sounds like betty. :D

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