Saturday, March 14, 2009

A Long Post You Shouldn't Read

To maintain this blog personal and up close, I guess it's just about well I talk about things that are truly very personal. The things that I will be writing here is actually better written down in a personal diary kept in a personal drawer in my very personal room. But since I am not a person that truly embraces discreet and humility to begin with. I shall talk to you about my STPM results, which some of you my friends, would have probably checked my blog again and again these few days in hoping for me to make an official announcement on which building, bridge or mountain shall I be picking to jump off from.

For a start, I am not suicidal. That's probably because STPM is not my 'beautiful girl' as Sean Kingston puts it. Secondly, I got a CGPA of 2.5 in STPM. A CGPA of 2.5 in STPM means you are caught somewhere in between B- and C+.

My father said "it's good that I passed all". My brother who is a top scorer in every possible examination in his life said it's a fair result for my standard. My mother in all her unfounded wisdom said "let God decide" and I don't even know what that means.

To justify myself, I have always been an 'arts' person. I do well and enjoy languages, I score well in history, I enjoy politics, I enjoy watching shows like 'The West Wings' and have extraordinaire oratory skill. And I make peace with those subjects except for one, that is science. I scored As in every non-science related subjects in primary 6, form 3 and form 5. When it comes to science I get Bs and I get Cs. When form 6 came, I was told to choose between the Art streams and the Science streams. And I picked the later. Because of one problem, my ego problem.

I did not for one bit or a second enjoy explaining why is that when you drive, you need a greater acceleration to maintain a constant speed while taking on a sharp corner. I did not enjoy trying to differenciate some equation with a tangent, a cosinus and a partial fraction with two different unknowns jumble up together. I did not enjoy seeing a mathematical question way back from 1993 appearing on my math paper which I took 15 years later. But there was an ego problem.

For proud people like myself, you don't quit because you aren't good at it. You quit when you have exhausted every chance to try. I wanted to excel in both arts and science. I wanted to be so amazingly brilliant that I may put everyone else under my feet. And make them drink my piss. Honestly, that is not me trying to exaggerate, I really wanted to be god. And at the end of the day, I was wrong. I was wrong about my limits. And also that I am no god, I am nothing but only a tiny little cute and charming sex symbol. Just kidding. I didn't want to be labeled as having an intellect not high enough to challenge the complexity of advance science subjects. So I did what I did.

As everybody knows STPM is just another word for discrimination. We know the system in this country and how it fools itself. But do I regret taking STPM? I really don't know how to answer that.

But I know when your car is taking a sharp corner, its linear motion is changed to circular and the initial force will be spent to achieve that, thus creating a deceleration or a drop from its initial speed. If the speed of the car is to be remained constant, a greater acceleration is needed to balance the force exhausted to change the direction of the car. To design a simple experiment to prove my answer, I would suggest you to drive your car to an empty car park and do the donut. I tried that and its pretty fun, you need to press more gas to maintain your donut speed.

And that pretty much sums up the previous chapter of my life. For the next chapter, I am considering a degree in "Accounting & Finance" or just plain "Accounting". I really don't know which is better. But I'm pretty sure, this time, it will be my ball game. Whoever says ACCA is hard has obviously never met a tiny little cute and charming sex symbol.

*Without Pride or Prejudice, this post is written for the pleasure of the author and by no means represents any interpretations into his character and personality.


Anonymous said...

Well, I was in your position a year ago. With a 2.5 CGPA, I wasn't offered a place in any local universities. Not even in Sabah/Sarawak universities to major in English and Literature despite having a Band 5 for MUET.
But I thought maybe my 2.5 CGPA really is peanuts compared to other STPM students from my batch. So I decided to further my studies in a private institution only to find out that a friend I met in university who got a CGPA of 2.1 got offered English and Literature in UPM. And she only got a Band 3! From then on, I'm glad I took STPM simply because it made me a lil' wiser and made me realize how screwed up our country is :)

Andrew Ho said...


pilocarpine said...

I'm glad I took STPM simply because it made me a lil' wiser and made me realize how screwed up our country is


Anonymous said...

Hey Andrew, I like your style... it's all personal here. Do you find letting it all out in your blog helps you find peace?

I would appreciate your answer, and here's why. I'm 25 yo, burdened by many things, afraid of being judged and cannot even be forthcoming with myself. The idea of a blog as an avenue to truly expose my thoughts makes sense at the moment. Therefore, I would like to start a blog for myself, not for fame or readership. If your blog liberates you, do say so here dude. Appreciate it.

Andrew Ho said...

yeah, i think blogging is a fun way to express ourselves and it can sometimes work as good as therapy.

Pinklady said...

Hey man still 2.5 congratulations. So what are you planning to do? Oh well, I did my STPM years ago and was in a university by choice, simply because I choose the lousiest course to ensure I get a place in uni. Lol. Anyway life isn't all about studying I realise later in's about what you want to be. Still at this moment...I am still 'trying to make myself happy' now, its all matter of selection of choosing the right path that you think belong to you.

Anonymous said...

he mentioned he might take up accountancy.

Anonymous said...

I dont know what 2.5 means or what is STPM cos i am not malaysian. i figured it is good results. anyway congrats! oh i always enjoy your entries. very down to earth and very human. pls keep writing !!!

Andrew Ho said...

Thank you :D

Magnild World said...

I do think the results is not I did my STPM few years back and I also have "B" and "C". Hahaha - actually this is not bad at all....Congrats !

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