Saturday, December 19, 2009


Last night I had two glasses of Tea C Peng passed midnight and sure enough my caffeine sensitive body reacted to it accordingly. I couldn't sleep until dawn. There is something about lying in bed in a sleepless night, firstly it sucks. Secondly your mind would start to wander around, thinking about this and that. And when the morning arrived, you had to remind yourself that whatever crossed your mind last night wasn't right. It was just your hyped up brain thinking nonsense. And I have decided to share yet another one of mine with you.

I was thinking directions. Specifically the directions of my life. I wasn't sure where my life is leading me to. And I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing so far. Am I investing time on the right people. Should I continue what I am doing, should I spend more time with certain people that poses neither immediate nor long term effects in my life. I was thinking directions.

A person cannot live without knowing where they are heading in life. Even if you're heading to hell, you gotta at least know it. It is depressing to be aimless. Liken to a floating boat in the sea. And I just thought I didn't want to be one of them. It is part of human nature to feel insecure when you're in an environment or a time, an age of your life where you have to make decisions. Decisions that will affect your life significantly. I feel that I have to start with a direction. You got to at least know where you want to go before you can take the first step.

As a Christian who refuses to preach in his blog. You have to understand that whatever I write here is just half of what I believe in. I've asked many questions without giving the proper answers. All my posts read like a bad self-help book. But it's been more than a year now and I've gotten sick of myself. I've decided to take a step of faith, to mention more about my beliefs. When men have a problem God has an answer. It's just that sometimes we are too stupid to realize it.

And to directions? It is good that we seek our heart and pray, to understand what we really want. But yet our futile mind can sometime think so much and plan so far only. We can't go beyond God. We can't even be sure what's gonna happen tomorrow. So in that light, I've also learnt to surrender my cares to God. Believing in His provision to lead me into the path I so much seek. And I believe it will be a good because I believe in a good God.

I know me talking about my faith is a bad combination. I've tried to avoid it but it's such a big part of me recently it has just been growing I couldn't help. I don't have a talent I have a gift. It has been tested proven, and no one would deny that I can't if I say I can preach. I may not be a teacher that can reveal a lot of things to you. But I can warmth your heart up with a simple message. A message of love this Christmas. As much as humility is one of the virtue I build my life upon, denying the fact that I can perform doesn't help.

Jesus Christ is not a swear word. Tonight you are young and you might feel that with both your arms stretched wide across the air you can seemingly own the world. Well you wouldn't be forever young. Someday, you'd wake up wishing that you had learnt more about this Name you swore upon so frequently. You'd wish life is a little more than what you've owned. You'd think about the past and the time and opportunities that slipped right across you. There will be regrets, it will haunt you. But there isn't much you can do about the past. Have you instead given much thought about today? Any directions?

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